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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

out with the old gee....

I got a few emails:
wth??
what's wrong with your blog?
why am I getting jibberish?
what's with the links??

...I only responded to one person and this is what I said:
i'm in the process of deleting it,
and now blogger acting foolish,
hopefully it will be
completely deleted in a few days
I hope I don't lose anything
I had some good stuff on there
I haven't shared any of my writings
to anyone before and now and it felt good
however
(the old) geegee doesn't really fit into my real life
anymore..
I need to stop hiding behind her and
cultivate all the in real life relationships I have
that I've neglected or got bored with or
just didn't meet my expectations
I need to stop procrastinating and
finish some of the real things
I have on my plate..
figure out ways to accomplish
other goals I have in life
stop playing and lurking around blogland

I felt I was getting caught up in the lives of
of so many people I don't even know
putting all my energy into people
that didn't really know me
prolly wouldn't lend me some suger
if I needed it and are prolly
more attracted to what they
thought "gee gee" was than what
I really am, and I'm to blame
I get that
that old blog allowed me to
release a lot of creative (and sexual) tension
I had inside and it taught me a lot
about myself and what I wanted
it also made
me realize I have a lot in real life
people and things, that I need to focus on.

and the lurkers? anons??
what are they hiding?? what am I hiding?
what are we all searching for?
something that we aren't getting
in our real lives??
why look here?? for what??

a creative outlet??
an audence??
attention??
new friends??
new lovers??

I just started to question why I was blogging and it just wasn't enough anymore.


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so I'm changing my direction..don't know what or how yet but i'll be back.

2 comments:

B. Good said...

I feel ya. Sometimes hearing/reading these "inner" thoughts aloud makes them sound differently then when they were just in your head. Its time for a revamp of my site, but I don't have the time or energy to do it yet, lol.

I like the new digs!

1969 said...

Good for you Gee Gee. Sometimes we all need to take stock of things and clean house.

Glad you shared your new digs with me.