Tuesday, November 27, 2007

u feel good?

define your happiness...

its been so many things to me at different points in my life....

first it was graduating from highschool...86 is in the mix...
then it was dating my college sweetheart...the star quarterback..to my cheerleader
then a career that kept me travelling and moving up the corporate ladder
then it was getting married...raising a family...having a home in a nice neighborhood
then it was another career, business owner and industry expert
thinking i'd finally had the dream...on steady ground..smooth sailing from here on
then I was hit by the biggest devastation in my life...divorce...how will I recover?

not easily but with hope and faith and friends and lots of shoulders to lean and cry on.
I think I'm finding my happiness again. started over from scratch. a lot of wrongs turns and mistakes and second chances
coming out of the dark closet toward the light, seeking happiness in other things, the little things, like a smile from a 3yr old child, once overlooked because I was so busy with work and my OWN STUFF.

when you don't have the big things or you lose all your material possessions you are forced to focus on the small things, the ones that really matter
quite humbling
when you have nothing else you are forced to see the love in the eyes of your family
and appreciate all the non essential things that you've been blessed with

Not always easy for me to find my happiness

woke up thanksgiving morning with a flat tire...almost ruined my day
woke up the next morning and my brakes were nearly non existent...cried
woke up the next day and didn't want to go to work....lazy
had to be reminded that work was what I wanted

I feel good most days but some days I'm still searching, tryign to define
what would truly make me happy
what am I looking for??
I used to think it was ambition..never getting stuck in THIS and NOW
always wanting TOMORROW and MORE

what makes you happy? are you happy everyday??
do you make those around you happy?? or do you bring them down with you??
are you content with where you are now??
how do you pull yourself out of sadness and discontent??

right now I'll turn on my radio and not get stuck.

funky deep....down deep...go Mr. Brown
a funky good time...that would make me happy!

turn on some JAMES BROWN!!!! he'll take u highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-er!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I've been shown....

yes i know you
because you make my heart sore
then you make my heart soar
you make me believe I can do it all
because with me you do it all
the highest highs, but not the lowest lows
the biggest grins
from hittin' your freely given skins
sharing the whole of me
and giving it freely
because you desire it
inspire it
add fire to it
send me searching for my breath
rarely finding it

i know you
you are
the other side
of me


have a great week coming together!!!
I'll be with my grandmama and em..eating all kinds of good food, playing spades and chillin with all my cousins!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

can't go there again...

I wonder
could I stand all the love you could give me
would I ruin it
stain it forever
maybe I can only love and not be loved back
maybe it hurts too much
maybe my wounds are so deep they can't be healed
I wonder if I could even give you what you deserve
in return
can I even love you with all my heart and
stand the happiness that comes with it
what if I can't truly let go of my insecurities
I wonder if my emotions are just too
overwhelming that they should be kept hidden always
maybe I'm better off alone
maybe I don't deserve your kind of love
what if I can't handle it
don't think I can
so I run

goodbye again
for good
because this time
he let go


You came along when I needed a savior
Someone to pull me through somehow
I've been torn apart so many times
I've been hurt so many times before
So I'm counting on you now

Somebody already broke my heart
Somebody already broke my heart

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

i need tagbourne

missed taking my meds and now i've been tagged...dang it!!!

by ThaL

here's 7 random...weird facts.

1) I give myself random pep talks thruout the day "gee you can do it..get up and get going "gee, its 4am go back to sleep what are you worried about what could go wrong between the hours of 4 and 6am" "Gee..don't eat that...look at your waist"
I'm my very own imaginary friend!

2) we all know about the white rice thing..I love it..eat it twice a day..Protector bought me a rice cooker and I swear I humped the box right in the store!!!!
Don't tell me if its bad for me or it has too many carbs..I don't care...I WANT MY RICE!...shut up TIffy!

3) back in 98 I was a designer for Philips Magnavox...my first product was WEBTV..wow and WTF??? I know...THAT product never caught on ... and I never got promoted! *sigh*

4) my fondest memory as a child was going to my first concert at the Kennedy Center with my moms to see Sister SLedge..."we are family"

5) oh my mom used to dance on Soul Train...HAHAHAHAH!!!

6) i was a military brat, born at Walter Reed Army Medical Center...dad fought in Vietnam and survived physically but not mentally...*sigh*

7) I have to brush my teeth at 7pm everynight if not i'll sit and eat in my bed til 11pm...but if I brush my teeth I won't eat anymore...I know I'm goofy!

I ain't taggin nobody but if you want to participate link back to me and follow the rules!!!! PEACCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The rules of the game are:
A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...
B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...
C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...
D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Training Day...1 done 4 to go

so I'm back to work already! whew!
I was getting tired of selling myself...

It was fun to dress up in slacks that were BANGING..a pink sweater (ala Janet Jackson - whatever TIFF) and my fav pair of Mary Janes...I looked HAWT..then why they say I could've worn jeans!!!
anyways... training started today for my new job..so i'm doing a drive by post
not real estate school but damn hard..half creative/design, half technical..the technical kicked my ass but I've dusted it off and I'll dress it up again tomorrow..dayum some jeans!!!!
I love to dress up..even when I go to the airport..which has been every 2 weeks this year it seems...and I see folks in sweats and I'm always in heels...Protector always says I overdress but hey that's me!!!

more later....HOLLA!!!!

Slish I got your money..come get it! HAHAHA!!!!!