out with the old gee....

I got a few emails:
wth??
what's wrong with your blog?
why am I getting jibberish?
what's with the links??

...I only responded to one person and this is what I said:
i'm in the process of deleting it,
and now blogger acting foolish,
hopefully it will be
completely deleted in a few days
I hope I don't lose anything
I had some good stuff on there
I haven't shared any of my writings
to anyone before and now and it felt good
however
(the old) geegee doesn't really fit into my real life
anymore..
I need to stop hiding behind her and
cultivate all the in real life relationships I have
that I've neglected or got bored with or
just didn't meet my expectations
I need to stop procrastinating and
finish some of the real things
I have on my plate..
figure out ways to accomplish
other goals I have in life
stop playing and lurking around blogland

I felt I was getting caught up in the lives of
of so many people I don't even know
putting all my energy into people
that didn't really know me
prolly wouldn't lend me some suger
if I needed it and are prolly
more attracted to what they
thought "gee gee" was than what
I really am, and I'm to blame
I get that
that old blog allowed me to
release a lot of creative (and sexual) tension
I had inside and it taught me a lot
about myself and what I wanted
it also made
me realize I have a lot in real life
people and things, that I need to focus on.

and the lurkers? anons??
what are they hiding?? what am I hiding?
what are we all searching for?
something that we aren't getting
in our real lives??
why look here?? for what??

a creative outlet??
an audence??
attention??
new friends??
new lovers??

I just started to question why I was blogging and it just wasn't enough anymore.


-------------------

so I'm changing my direction..don't know what or how yet but i'll be back.