Lady Tee

aka Teena Maria released a new album yesterday.

Congo Square

clutter free...

doing a lil late spring cleaning...there are so many distractions in my life that keep me from my real life. The biggest has GOT TO BE THE INTERNET!
And oh how I love, have loved these distractions...they keep me entertained and
have kept me from working on my future plan, working at my present job, forgetting about my past loves, thinking (about my weight and working out), mothering god's gifts to me, being a good friend to those I know in real life, reading a real book, writing something down (in a real notebook pen to ink)....the internet is a good way to hide from all these things, to run from these things! It's exhausting and now its time to set some of it free!

so i've deleted myspace, facebook, and all the other senseless (to me) social networking sites..blogger will be next..I'm thinking when I wake up on my birthday I will be clutter free !!!

BUT, BUT wait

I can't get rid of Twitter and its the most addicting of all..a contradiction?? yes I'm a gemini and this is what I do

I'm giving up 6 to keep the most addicting one!!!

NO MAS...I'm done with checking (or being nosy) reading whats going on in others (strangers) lives as they go on and on and on on their blogs, paragraph after paragraph and no more of me having to (feeling pressured to) come up with more than 140 characters to say what I got to say on my blog when no one that close to me is even reading..well maybe a few *snickers*

summer is coming and I need to be out and about with my honey...or with the kids..or with my new adopted local girlfriend club (still recruiting), reading a real book again, walking in the sand, making more love and settling on my life's plan!!!

less is more...at least for now!!!

love for sale...

why wasn't this sold in stores??

I need this album!!! PRONTO!

Bilal must be a gemini..cuz he's truly an artist..hot - cold and - inbetween
alladat
The champ and I saw him Saturday night

n'dambi opened for him HOT..her energy was SICK!!!

Bilal lingered out around 11pm..with algebra as a back up singer SHE"S HOT
he didn't have his regular band and seemed frustrated by it
had to play some of his own songs on the piano cuz homeboy wasn't getting it

he seemed irritated
and high
and algebra seemed worried or concerned about him

pure love on her face for him...
I was wondering the whole time if he felt the love coming from his fans
like a gemini I felt he was anazlying our responses
he seemed reluctant to do an encore but he did

he was BLOWING! I LOVE HIM!

When he did SOMETimes the crowd went crazy~
and Make me over is my new JAM!

and for the record he was checking me out of course!! behind his shades

"make me over, make me over..."

hold on..and wait...

Knowing when to cut your losses or stick it out in a relationship is a tough decision especially if you are just in the beginning stages..and thats the best time to make this decision so it should be easy right??.

It shouldn't take a lot of time (wasted years) figuring out if you are good for one another.


I've been LOVING the champ for a lil over a year now and I consider our relationship still in its early stages. I think because we are constantly trying to get to know each other and please each other..we've taken our time and we've enjoyed every minute of it.


WE are so similar sometimes that it worries me...Can I give him what I want when he wants the same things from me??
If we are both takers how can we give....Sometimes we are both givers and so how do we get want we want??



We analyze..hey we are both geminis born on the same day so thats what we do

- we OVER- ANALYZE. Could we just be?? Ever??


I want the best for him and he wants the best for me and we want to give each other our best.
WE get in the way of ourselves because we try so hard.


WE still have a lot of growing to do individually, together and apart. That makes me excited and sad at the same time.

The question at hand is Do we need time apart?? ... to work on ourselves?? Can't we grow together??

I want to stick it in...push into overdrive and press thru this..we can do it together.

Don't keep me waitin, I'm impatient

Hit my runway, and let's take off and fly

Now I'm where I wanna be, come co-pilot with me

Let's burn up the sky (OOHHH)

It's the climb

last Easter was beautiful..read about it here..


This Easter great also - was spent with family in from North Carolina! WE had a blast but feeding everyone almost broke the bank! add in 2 movies, 2 days of putt putt golf, go karts, bumper boats, church, and tons of laughs I'm broke and exhausted


But it was awesome!

I started the weekend off by going to see Hannah Montana with the lil gees..great movie and this song is basically my WHOLE LIFE's mantra!! - check the lyrics

THE CLIMB!
I can almost see it
That dream Im dreamin, but
Theres a voice inside my head sayin
Youll never reach it

Every step Im taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I, I gotta keep tryin
Gotta keep my head held high
Theres always gonna be another mountain
Im always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle

That sometimes Im gonna have to lose
Aint about how fast I get there
Aint about whats waitin on the other side
Its the climb

The struggles Im facin
The chances Im takinS
ometimes might knock me down, but
No, Im not breaking
I may not know it

But these are the moments thatI
m gonna remember most yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

Theres always gonna be another mountain
Im always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
That sometimes Im gonna have to lose
Aint about how fast I get there
Aint about what's waitin on the other side
Its the climb
Yeah

Keep on movin
Keep climbin
Keep the faith, baby
Its all about, its all about the climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Whoa, whoa

doobie ashtray....

man..where have I been??

I had this great post about sacrifices and how we sacrifice our time to give to others and how we sacrifice sleep for concerts and our sanity for work but I fell asleep never typed it in my phone and now its all lost!
so all I have is my "happy to date"

this live performance from Solange...the champ and I saw her Thursday night and WOW she's amazing in her own lane and FIYAH!!!



this theme for my bb *heart*









new red frames










this diva

new boots









"That's just so, That's just so, That's just sooooooooooooooo..need a champagne chronic nitecap"

baggage left...finally...

"My foolish heart was broken
when he left us in the cold.
Now I’m left to fix the pieces."

Exactly how I felt 3 years ago when my ex husband left us for 8 weeks and then ultimately for good to be with another woman. We absolutely lost everything without the energy to put up a fight.
Didn't think I would ever get over that. Somehow I did, I had to, had no choice.
I think if there was a build up, if we had a horrible marriage, some kind of warning then I would've been prepared for the inevitable , I thought I had the epitome of a stable marriage til the air was knocked out of my stomach. I kept asking "What did I do??" In the past I
looked down at women that complained about their husbands and had men on the side.
I was in it for the long haul. I made my bed and I was comfy and cozy in it.
Until the day I found out he wanted out and had already spent a year working on another relationship. and to think I was so happy to be married to him , thought I had my whole life figured out. WOW!
I didn't know any better.
Getting back at him was never a goal for me. I was too numb for revenge.

The best revenge is her calling me asking me to help her with him. HUH?? The problems you guys are having I never had with him. I listened anyways. She talked about how controlling and evil he is with her. He was never like that with me. Please don't call again for advice as I have none. Goodbye to you both.

Back then I was in survival mode and that's all I thought about. I kept my friends and family on the outside and all of my pain in the inside. Until recently.
Now a commerical, a tv show, something the kids will say, or this song will bring it all to surface. Right at a time when love has found me again all the pain is seeping out. Purging to make room for something deeper and pure.
I went thru so many years of being quiet that I didn't feel or voice anything about my divorce.
I pushed it to the bottom of my soul. The minute I started to feel again, The minute I started to love again all of my barriers melted away and all the baggage came rushing around.
As I was loving him I was hating the him of my past. I love you in one conversation to I can't talk to you ever again in the next conversation. Emotional rollercoaster all day , every day.
Love and hate. Wore them on my sleeve everyday. How exhausted I was.

A few months ago I finally said "is it me, something I've done that makes you treat me this way" and he simply said "no , you've done nothing" and with that I was able to let it all go. Just like that. It wasn't me at all. I forgave him. I forgive myself. Enough is Enough. I'm done.
I wasted so much energy these past few years that I will never get back but I'm enjoying the new years I'm making with a light heart and less pain.
I'm sure every now and then something else will take me back down memory lane and all I have to do is look to my side or look in front of me and see all the love I have all around me.

"I won’t let you keep (keep) hurting me, if you gone keep causing me pain."