Tuesday, April 13, 2010

she's just a friend...

damn how many times have we heard this over and over again..thanks to the Nobody beats the Biz! M-a-r-K-I-E!!

I don't get the guys that ONLY have female friends..and thats it...I have a problem with that..

and I admit it..if I'm wrong say I'm wrong..

All and let me repeat..ALL the men in my life have been romantically involved with me at some point in time or want to be...there never was any middle ground..so based on my experience if you are hanging with a dude you've been with him before or you want to and vice versa if you are a dude that has only female friends you have been with at least one of them and you'd like to get closer to the other.

This doesn't apply to those dudes that have equal amounts of male and female friends that they hang out with on the regular...i'm not talking about you..

I'm talking about the dudes that ONLY have female friends..and when they have girlfriends this becomes a problem..

why you say...

because...you will have a convo like this

Boyfriend: hey baby I'm going to hang with Lisa
Girlfriend: Just Lisa? Just you 2 out at a bar drinking??
BF: Yes..you know we are just friends
GF: hmmm no I do not know that....

She's thinking either they fucked and it didn't work out or go to the next level or somewhere down the road they will eventually fuck..Or they kissed and it got awkward so they never pursued for "fear of ruining a good friendship" BULLSHIT
as somepoint in time you guys were intimate...or will be.

and then you will have a convo like this after you guys eventually break up over your need to hang with said female friends

Him: I'm hanging at bar XYZ with Lisa tonight since I really couldn't hang with her while we were dating..I neglected our friendship
Her: Just you and Lisa
Him: Yeah you don't like bars anyways
Her: You are joking right??
Him: No


Call me crazy but every guy I've gone out with wants sex at some point if we haven't already gone down that road..and If we fucked before 10 times out of 10 he will want to do it again...he will pretend to be friendly in the beginning but best believe he's thinking about it..the chick also!

So if I'm dating someone tall, dark and handsome and he constantly wants to hang with his female BFFs I gotta a problem..whats the motive here??
Because these are most likely single women looking for a man so I'm thinking is he with her to discretly scope out more girls while she's checking for dudes or what??

Like I'm mad you don't have any male friends to balance all this shit out..granted they may get you into more trouble but you still need that male bonding as well.

And what about those relationships that end on a good note..you guys go your separate ways but say "baby I love you lets be friends".and so you start out that way but in the back of your mind you are thinking "if i really want to have sex with him/her again , we can make it happen"

so there comes the time when he gets a NEW girlfriend...
then the old girlfriend (now the female BFF) says..
Her: hey lets' go get a drink at a bar, I miss you, we were so great together
him: let me check with my NEW girlfriend
her: just tell her we are JUST friends
him: she won't go for that but whatever
her: cool I will see you soon, then one things leads to another

you follow this bullshit circle???


B. Good said...

How funny...I somewhat experienced this recently...only I'm the girl who's "just a friend".

Mind you...the guy I was friends with, has both male and female friends, so it may not apply.

But honestly...girlfriends who have a problem with their guy hanging out with a girl who's "just a friend" have that problem regardless of whether he has male friends or not.

Bottomline is...if you think your man is that kind of shady, where doesn't respect you or your relationship, and would scope other women on the side...then he probably shouldn't be your man.

Now when a man gets a girlfriend, I tend to think that he'd prefer to spend most of his time with her, if he's going to spend it with any woman. So I don't think hanging with another female friend now and then should be a big deal.

But as a girl who's been "just a friend" to a guy who's girlfriend was insecure about us being friends...I usually fall back when I sense there's a problem.

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

BGood, you know you my girl from way back, thanks for your response..i get that its more me and my insecurities and not so much the female friends..but it does get under my skin!

anonymousnupe said...

So does this mean you still do or don't want to get with me? LOL!