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Monday, April 12, 2010

in labor....

not that kind of labor..this here shop is CLOSED!!

I'm talking Department of Labor..YEP I'm now considered one of the 66,000+ registered at the DOL as unemployed and claiming benefits. I was in shock as I received my glossy grey packet (not blue like UP in the AIR) but same information.

It threw me for a loop when I first got the news that my job no longer needed me after completing a successful (well not so successful we found out later my boss lost 2 million dollars) project I had a few thoughts running thru my head like when you first take a pregnancy test...you have mixed emotions...

I was sad cuz well I was losing my health insurance if I didn't pay the $919 cobra fees..then happy cuz they reduced it to $321 since I was a single mom or some other requirements I met...but then sad again cuz I couldn't even afford that!

Then I was elated cuz well YEAH I get to stay home, stay in my PJS, watch my soaps, sleep in..then I got depressed real quick cuz I still had to get up at 6 and sit in the carpool lane and look for jobs and sell myself and MAKE SOME MONEY and PAY THE SAME BILLS - basically I had to GRIND MORE NOW! at least at work I got nice lunch breaks!

After a few weeks of depression I felt optimistic again...maybe I could open another store...follow my PASSION! YES the skys the limit..then pessimistic cuz well "where am I gonna get that kind of money to do alladat AGAIN" I still owe people from my LAST shop!

Then I felt YOUNG again..hey I could go back to school then get a pay raise when I DO go back to work...then I felt OLD AS HELL as I will probably be older than all the students in the class and the students? well I could be all of their mommas!!!

So you see I was an emotional wreck... till I had my first official WORKSHOP last week and its not just young black women getting laid off which was my first thought..its old white men, young white men, its all of us..we are all riding this boat together...and they actually gave me some tips on tweaking my resume

it hasn't been all bad..catching up on sleep, getting all my doctors appointments done feeling healthy and energetic, creating and being crafty again, even sending handmade cards to some of my dearest friends, googling some of my not so dear friends seeing what the are up to...organizing my home office (COFFICE as tiffany calls it)
My house is now in order and I'm ready to deliver...but

its only been 2 months
SHIT I'm in my first trimester,
no more morning sickness but I gotta lot of work to do!

somebody HOLD MY HAND!

6 comments:

The F$%K it List said...

Girl I got you. I know its hard, definitely scary but you're strong, smart and you will be ok.

Worst case we got the stick and move hahahah.

nicki nicki tembo said...

and I'll grab the other hand f$%K it List...

Yep it's real out here. Lost my 19yr job over a year ago. I'm back in school and felt those same jitters. And yes I am old enough to be most of their mothers; hell, some of them call me Ms. Nicki, lol. I checked the apprehension at the door. Make ya next go ya best go!

Tiffany said...

gorrrl! you know i got you during those deep breathing exercises, im there letting you breave all hard in my ear about the pain and the pressure you feel throughout this process! then i'm there to make you forget about the pain momentarily while i tell one of my corny ass jokes that make you continue to pee that 'broke' water outcha! ha. finally, im crouched down at home base waiting for you to birth that baby! uma be *blackeyed pea voice* cheering you on and in aw of your strength because I KNOW YOU ARE A SURVIVOR and not by default! we were built for this shit! one lovely lady lump at a time!

XOXO ALWAYS Big Sis/BFF,

tiffany

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

Thanks ladies..I need a support system for real!!!

Nicki, really 19 years wow! thanks for your input!

Tiffy..yep we are built for this but when do we get to rest??

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