that kind of guy...

I was emailing someone yesterday describing THE CHAMP
and the only thing I could say was that "he's a CATCH".

I knew from our very first telephone conversation 90 days ago...
that we were both on the same page and headed in the same direction.
I knew he was different and I would be changed by him from that day..
day 1 we marked it.
The way he smiled ... turned me soft because I knew it was genuine and just for me
instant gratification..all the time smiles, giggles, hugs and kisses
kind words of support, comfort, desire, passion, completeness.
I knew we'd be different to each other not like all the rest.
Taking our time/more time, listening more, more willing to compromise,
sharing insides that no one else could touch - generous with our affection..
our attention in one direction..
our need for each other is matched ... point to point connection.

I knew we'd have new experiences and new outcomes,
new lovers for the first time, making everyone else the last time
I knew we were growing together and into some real together
all easy loving

I know..this type of feeling only comes once in a lifetime you say?
and some people think discomfort will eventually come after the love
I never thought that...
and you can only have one soulmate you say?
I had a soulmate I didn't marry and a husband that never saw my passion,
but he sees it all...everytime
and he makes me feel it..even when I doubted....
after all these days he said he'd go back to day one
to convince me ...when the fear freezes me
in my steps and in my feelings
my imagination like a runaway train
I'm chasing everything
but something else, running
trying to get free, pushing him away, off of me...
sabotage and abandonment filled the time
that was meant for him and us
wasted energy that shouldn't have existed

luckily he had faith and trusted what we already had/could have
he was aware of my baggage and he constantly told me
"I got you..don't worry, I will wait for you"
my common denominator in weekends, thoughts, and prayers
plans for the future too.
In my heart I keep him safe..barely to escape
unless them to him
to his face
in his ear
only for him
actions reserved for him
love with his name on it
no more
what did I do wrong..will I do it again??
will I fall...and will he catch me??

in one day..this instance
I let it all go...all the betrayal..just like that
it was lifted..and the love just poured out of me and it won't stop

no more doubt I told him...and he makes sure it stays that way
consistent with me always..even when my leaves were flailing in the wind
even when I'm unsure
or wavering
still
he's that big strong tree
that doesn't budge

he's that guy
I was walking behind on a 5 mile trail
around stone mountain this weekend
I kept trying to push him ahead of me
telling him to run his own race , go faster, speed up
but he stayed with me
grabbing my hand
pushing me forward saying "I'm not leaving you"
"Are you afraid I will get lost?"
he said, "No"
"Am I slowing you down?"
again he said "No, I just want to be next to you"
"I can see you...so go"
"I'm not going anywhere"
and with that
we just kept walking...
side by side
staying close
yep he's that kind of guy
"loving him a little more everyday"