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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

knocked up

Dear Diary, Feelin' like a 16 year old. Black skinny little girl that got pregnant after having sex one time with the nastiest boy in class. Feelin' like I will always be 8 months this way sitting at home while everyone else goes to the prom. Feelin' like I'll always wear "hand-me-downs" while everyone rocks the Jordache jeans. Baby daddy has no respect for me, my time, my hopes, my dreams. He lives his life as he pleases clubs, late night weedin. Feelin' alone in this world, yet not free to be away from all my misery. Feelin' trapped in a body that rejects everybody. I make everyone around me cry. I make them all feel guilty. I make them all wish I would die.


"We just sittin' here tryin to win, try not to sin
high off weed and
lots of gin"

8 comments:

Pro said...

Damn, dats deep. I so get that and the way you are feelin' chick. Even though I see my baby daddy I feel like he's also dating work cause work gives him his props and doesn't complain while its waiting on him, blah blah blah. He can finish stuff he starts with work and see the satisfaction, but not so much with the constant demands of baby mama and three mouths to feed. Outlet shopping where they house two seasons ago clothing is the closes I get to new stuff for. my. babies. I will still have to wear my 1990/1991 prom dress and pray it fits and oh! pray baby day remembers to even ask me to attend any functions with him. I'm part of the problem in his eyes and full of solution I am, yet still not solicited or even asked for my 50% in this thing called married...

P.S. We still go together like late night waffle house after clubin' (and weed and sexin')! *ehug*

Lovebabz said...

I cannot pretend to say I know how you feel. This was not my experience. You do make it very real and I can imagine being there in the moment with you or to whomever this is about.

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

This is not my diary but I've felt a line or two from it.
Pro; I still have my homecoming handmade gown think Ms. DAVA will wear it someday?? {hugs} back atcha
Babz:...not me but I feel the pain from it.
I was writing in my own diary and thoughts of a 16 year just popped in my head where all my other random words come from with no rhyme or reason or relation to my real life. (maybe my last life??)

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

gin is food folk lol

have a great weekend and chk my new post...

Nikki Wadley said...

Can't say I haven't felt like this at times.

Steve Kells said...

you women go thru a lot.....im glad i was born with a *****

dc_speaks said...

yoooooooo...i was like"what did i just walk into"

didn't take me long to make my way over.

Laters, dear.

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