Tuesday, November 27, 2007

u feel good?

define your happiness...

its been so many things to me at different points in my life....

first it was graduating from highschool...86 is in the mix...
then it was dating my college sweetheart...the star quarterback..to my cheerleader
then a career that kept me travelling and moving up the corporate ladder
then it was getting married...raising a family...having a home in a nice neighborhood
then it was another career, business owner and industry expert
thinking i'd finally had the dream...on steady ground..smooth sailing from here on
then I was hit by the biggest devastation in my life...divorce...how will I recover?

not easily but with hope and faith and friends and lots of shoulders to lean and cry on.
I think I'm finding my happiness again. started over from scratch. a lot of wrongs turns and mistakes and second chances
coming out of the dark closet toward the light, seeking happiness in other things, the little things, like a smile from a 3yr old child, once overlooked because I was so busy with work and my OWN STUFF.

when you don't have the big things or you lose all your material possessions you are forced to focus on the small things, the ones that really matter
quite humbling
when you have nothing else you are forced to see the love in the eyes of your family
and appreciate all the non essential things that you've been blessed with

Not always easy for me to find my happiness

woke up thanksgiving morning with a flat tire...almost ruined my day
woke up the next morning and my brakes were nearly non existent...cried
woke up the next day and didn't want to go to work....lazy
had to be reminded that work was what I wanted

I feel good most days but some days I'm still searching, tryign to define
what would truly make me happy
what am I looking for??
I used to think it was ambition..never getting stuck in THIS and NOW
always wanting TOMORROW and MORE

what makes you happy? are you happy everyday??
do you make those around you happy?? or do you bring them down with you??
are you content with where you are now??
how do you pull yourself out of sadness and discontent??

right now I'll turn on my radio and not get stuck.

funky deep....down deep...go Mr. Brown
a funky good time...that would make me happy!

turn on some JAMES BROWN!!!! he'll take u highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-er!


1969 said...

I not happy every day but I appreciate every waking moment.

No matter how bad my situation may be or get....no matter how sad I allow myself to become....I don't allow it to break me or defeat me.

I just allow myself the time to cry, scream, voice my disappointment and then move on.

Life is too short and I have a whole lot of living to do. YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL!

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

1969 you are so right and I'm not sweating the small stuff..I just have this dual personality thing going on...everyone sees me as this HAPPY GO LUCKY, I CAN MAKE IT ALL WORK person but sometimes in my own bedroom (and on this blog) i'm struggling with what can I do to really make myself happy so I don't feel like I'm always searching.
I do have a good friend that will allow me to cry on his shoulder and he counsels me and after that I feel stronger...I think we all just need a good TEAM that is always uplifting!

Pro said...

Happy is a fleeting feeling. When I'm PMSing salt and sweet makes me happy. When I'm done with the rag salt and sweet makes me sad because of the scale that weighs in. I usually have those dual feelings you were BORN with. Don't quite understand how THAT happened to me falling into September and all. You know I love being one of those shoulder's you mention to lean on. I get to practice my comidianne skills. I need some sort of income before my house gets out of order and people start acting all sporty and shyt!

Aunt Jackie said...

being a single woman is a big job and it take allot to maintain your entire life, keep your head up, car running, bills paid and to look good doing so.

lots of my friends with families and husbands are always balking at how easy my life must be and i have to remind them single women don't have anyone to run to the store or find the remote control.

all that said you are navigating your way thru your life your way..and that is a blessing!

B. Good said...

"what would truly make me happy "

I go back and forth all the time. But basically, doing what I WANNA do, and not what I have to do would make me happy.

By that definition, I'm somewhat happy. I make it a point to do what I want for the most part. But there's still a LARGE part (i.e. work) that feels more like a mandate than a choice. And school (albeit being a choice) is a pain in the ass right now, so I'll be experiencing an influx of happiness right around December 14th.

But mini-vacations help me get over my discontent. Mini being, sometimes I don't even leave the house, or the couch. I turn the phone off, let my mind escape, I refuse to think about anything, and I eat my favorite meal. Works everytime :)

GiGi - The Shy Giraffe said...

*coming out from lurking*

my happiness is subjective, i guess. every single day, i try to find something that makes me happy.. good cup of coffee, a good laugh, me falling on my azz while doing yoga n laff about it..

come to a point in my life, i'm trying not to stress out over something that's not within my control..its not easy, but i'm trying.

guess, happiness is what you makes it be.


Royce's Daughter said...

You know dayum well my crazy azz aint happy everyday LOL!!

But I am happy more then I am sad and when I am happy it comes from realizing that my life in all of its twists and turns is wonderful. I have such a strong loving group of family and friends around me that saddness can never stick around long.

BossMack said...

Happy feelings loved one, so subjective they are.

Mahogany Brown said...

All I can say is thank God for second chances. I think that's what makes me happiest. I know that each day I wake up, is another day given to get everything I managed to screw up yesterday, the day before, hell even the YEAR before, right. Yeah second chances keep me happy.