let's go lil kitty kat....

c

u

n

'08!!!!

blogwash

the new year will mark my anniversary of bloggin
1 year...I was late to bloggin..and it happened by accident
no one in my real life has one really
isn't that odd...so one late night I happened upon
unky then started my own....
met a lot of bloggers in these 12 months

and learned a few lessons

one thang fo sho...no back tracking

i love tiffy...she comes up with the best sayings...

anyways I'm getting off topic
I started writing this time last year cuz I'd just
started dating again after an extremely sad breakup

I started writing about my experiences because
they were all so new to me . I was finding out
for the first time what passion really was
and what love was all about

also discovered how emotionally disconnected
I was which left me questioning
what I really wanted and how could I get it.
I started to analyze everything!

all the hellos and all the goodbyes

this last one was 7 months in the making
but i'm not sad or hurt..

the one before that hurt because he didn't
even try to protect me

but with the protector
we knew it would end up like this
we talked about it over and over again
we knew what we were stepping into
we took the leap anyways
no regrets

for 2008 i'm working on me
before I jump into something
that I start and can't finish
i'm working on my insides
my heart

maybe someone will step to me
I won't have to work so hard
it will just come to me

Top 5 of what I want

1. an easy buttton - got one??

2. how do you put the past behind?

3. how do you move forward?

4. let go of mistakes and heartaches?

5. where do you go from here??

He"artful" ideas....

the winter blues take control of me the minute it starts to get cold....i get lazy and all i wanna do is sleep in..when I get home from work i want to eat and get in the bed...no tv (cuz its all repeats)...i tend to knit but even that is boring me this season...so i'm looking thru my stacks and stacks of books to read something to keep me awake so I don't go to bed at 830 or 9 cuz I am guilty of that too!!

in my stack I found "Liv.ing Art.fully". One of my craft books by this craft artist named San.dra Mags.amen. its all about creating the life you imagine..I'm hip to that so I start going thru the chapters and it really lifted me out of my winter doldrums..made me want be creative again...and it made me remember that I haven't made my scrapbook calendars for my mother and ex-mother in law: read YIKES!!!

I haven't done a lick of christmas shopping so these artful christmas gifts made me smile.

- create a "coupon book"
this one is my fav...some of my fav themes
"coochie coupons" self explanatory use your imagination
"handy man coupons" if you are a guy you could make coupons for your girlfriend for a "free car wash", "free oil change", "will rotate your tires" (that could fall under coochie coupons LOL!!!
"handmade goodies coupons" - could include coupons for handbaked cookies, cakes, etc.
"maid for a day" - will vacuum, will cook, will run errands
great for moms

- create a "I Remember" book
this could be a book filled with memories of a life live with love...great for husbands and wives, etc..

- create jewelry from beads, etc.
I did this last year for my cousin and she gave them all to her co workers..the nurses loved them

- create a cd with their favorite songs
simple and in expensive and when they play it they will think of you

- create exotic scented candles
they will burn them in the bathroom and think of you

-create a recipe book
you could use all your moms or grandmoms recipes

- create a handwritten letter (more than 2 pages)
this is the simplest and the most heart felt...women LOVE getting handwritten letters. I save all of them and I've had some since college

-plant something for them
as it grows they will think of you

today I'm gonna create something with my hands and feel artful and get some of my christmas gifts out of the way.
My rule is give them something store bought and something handmade
are you an artsy fartsy??..what have you created lately from your bare hands??

tis the season!!!

u feel good?

define your happiness...

its been so many things to me at different points in my life....

first it was graduating from highschool...86 is in the mix...
then it was dating my college sweetheart...the star quarterback..to my cheerleader
then a career that kept me travelling and moving up the corporate ladder
then it was getting married...raising a family...having a home in a nice neighborhood
then it was another career, business owner and industry expert
thinking i'd finally had the dream...on steady ground..smooth sailing from here on
then I was hit by the biggest devastation in my life...divorce...how will I recover?

not easily but with hope and faith and friends and lots of shoulders to lean and cry on.
I think I'm finding my happiness again. started over from scratch. a lot of wrongs turns and mistakes and second chances
coming out of the dark closet toward the light, seeking happiness in other things, the little things, like a smile from a 3yr old child, once overlooked because I was so busy with work and my OWN STUFF.

when you don't have the big things or you lose all your material possessions you are forced to focus on the small things, the ones that really matter
quite humbling
when you have nothing else you are forced to see the love in the eyes of your family
and appreciate all the non essential things that you've been blessed with

Not always easy for me to find my happiness

woke up thanksgiving morning with a flat tire...almost ruined my day
woke up the next morning and my brakes were nearly non existent...cried
woke up the next day and didn't want to go to work....lazy
had to be reminded that work was what I wanted

I feel good most days but some days I'm still searching, tryign to define
what would truly make me happy
what am I looking for??
I used to think it was ambition..never getting stuck in THIS and NOW
always wanting TOMORROW and MORE

what makes you happy? are you happy everyday??
do you make those around you happy?? or do you bring them down with you??
are you content with where you are now??
how do you pull yourself out of sadness and discontent??

right now I'll turn on my radio and not get stuck.

funky deep....down deep...go Mr. Brown
a funky good time...that would make me happy!

turn on some JAMES BROWN!!!! he'll take u highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-er!

I've been shown....

yes i know you
because you make my heart sore
then you make my heart soar
you make me believe I can do it all
because with me you do it all
the highest highs, but not the lowest lows
the biggest grins
from hittin' your freely given skins
sharing the whole of me
and giving it freely
because you desire it
inspire it
add fire to it
send me searching for my breath
rarely finding it

i know you
because
you are
the other side
of me

*******



have a great week coming together!!!
I'll be with my grandmama and em..eating all kinds of good food, playing spades and chillin with all my cousins!
ENJOY!!

can't go there again...

I wonder
could I stand all the love you could give me
would I ruin it
stain it forever
maybe I can only love and not be loved back
maybe it hurts too much
maybe my wounds are so deep they can't be healed
I wonder if I could even give you what you deserve
in return
can I even love you with all my heart and
stand the happiness that comes with it
what if I can't truly let go of my insecurities
I wonder if my emotions are just too
overwhelming that they should be kept hidden always
maybe I'm better off alone
maybe I don't deserve your kind of love
what if I can't handle it
don't think I can
so I run

goodbye again
for good
because this time
he let go

------

You came along when I needed a savior
Someone to pull me through somehow
I've been torn apart so many times
I've been hurt so many times before
So I'm counting on you now

Somebody already broke my heart
Somebody already broke my heart

i need tagbourne

missed taking my meds and now i've been tagged...dang it!!!

by ThaL

here's 7 random...weird facts.

1) I give myself random pep talks thruout the day "gee you can do it..get up and get going "gee, its 4am go back to sleep what are you worried about what could go wrong between the hours of 4 and 6am" "Gee..don't eat that...look at your waist"
I'm my very own imaginary friend!

2) we all know about the white rice thing..I love it..eat it twice a day..Protector bought me a rice cooker and I swear I humped the box right in the store!!!!
Don't tell me if its bad for me or it has too many carbs..I don't care...I WANT MY RICE!...shut up TIffy!


3) back in 98 I was a designer for Philips Magnavox...my first product was WEBTV..wow and WTF??? I know...THAT product never caught on ... and I never got promoted! *sigh*

4) my fondest memory as a child was going to my first concert at the Kennedy Center with my moms to see Sister SLedge..."we are family"

5) oh my mom used to dance on Soul Train...HAHAHAHAH!!!

6) i was a military brat, born at Walter Reed Army Medical Center...dad fought in Vietnam and survived physically but not mentally...*sigh*

7) I have to brush my teeth at 7pm everynight if not i'll sit and eat in my bed til 11pm...but if I brush my teeth I won't eat anymore...I know I'm goofy!

I ain't taggin nobody but if you want to participate link back to me and follow the rules!!!! PEACCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


The rules of the game are:
A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...
B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...
C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...
D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.