C's of fall...Crafting, Cuddling, Cards, Creating, Chillin, Connecting and the Champ...

I know for most of you fall means football, well for me it means knitting, scrapbooking, cardmaking and CHILLIN...I'm stirring my creative juices RIGHT NOW and getting ready to hibernate for the winter with lots of new yarn, new 12x12 papers, stickers and embellishments and plenty of handmade projects on my plate.

Crafting: I used to own a scrapbook store and I LOVED IT...2100 sq. ft of pure bliss!!

I used to crank out the pages and I've been published over 22 times, a scrapbookers dream..and it was my passion for so many years and I've neglected it...

Here's one (or two) I completed a few years back for a magazine:

Sadly I haven't submitted anything since 2005...DRAT! so I'm diggin out my boxes and getting back into it...first up a wedding reception album for my aunt! YAY ME!!

Creating: I like to also create a lot of handmade things for the HOME (wooden letters, ornaments out of cd's, etc), here's are a few examples...

Cardmaking: I make a lot of cards and tin holders for cards..Check it!

Crafting Needles: I buy new needles every year..but i can only make scarves!!! this is my favorite yarn to use...called fancy fur..

Cuddling..what better time than the fall/winter months to intimate with your loved ones??..the Champ and I are planning a lot of quality time for quality connecting with each other..YEAH RIGHT...I forgot I have to make appointments between his football games for a few kisses!!!

*sigh*

in this concrete jungle..where do you stand??

just one more day...

the weekends are JUST TOO SHORT!

I can't forget those lovely days...I need one more day
I will do anything you want me to do, say anything you want me to say

cherish you til the day I die
let me have one more day

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....just one more day

vain...or NOT

I'm wondering if I'm vain as I sit at my desk at work checking my mirror 15,000 times.

Am I vain?? Do I think I look good?

What am I checking for? Is my gray showing? Do I have food in my teeth? Boogers in my nose?? Zits on my cheeks? Chin hair? Crust in my eyes?? Wax in my ears??

Why am I obsessing over my looks??? Such a gemini...happy one minute...frowning the next.


But really...why do I feel like all eyes on me? Is it my looks...my physical features? Do you see something you like?

Or are you checking for blemishes and moles?? Are you looking for something out of place??
I feel myself doing this to everyone around me...even the champ..drives him crazy!! I'm plucking his eyebrows...constantly squeezing his face...What's wrong with me??
am I obsessed with perfection...???


I feel like everything is out of place...out of sync.... but by what standards??

I want a new haircut, I want my old body back, I want a manicure and a pedicure, I want the hair on my legs to stop growing, I want my lips fuller, I want these freckles and moles off my face. Why? I dunno

Who am I trying to impress? I dunno

Why allasudden? I dunno

I'm just not proud of how I look right now..TODAY.. so how could I be vain?

Is it because I think everyone is looking at me...talking about me...thinking about me....measuring my accomplishments, analyzing my salary, guessing my intentions, judging my work and weighing my emotions. I'm afraid they will see right through me...will they think I'm fake? that I have been faking? that I don't know all the answers, I make mistakes, I have flaws.

Will they be able to see past that..see past it all and into my heart?? Am I a fraud?...I don't have it together or do I??..cuz I damn sho made it thru 40 years and I have a very bless - sed life. I'm sure of it.

So Am I going through a midlife crisis?? Whats wrong with me TODAY??

....my saving grace is that I've started my gratitude journal again..after putting it down 3 years ago..no wonder the past 2 years have been so tough ... I need to get back to acknowledging all THAT I have instead of fussing over what I want and how I should look.

*double sigh*

spirit flowing on the inside...

i'm one of those people that create their best stuff when they are depressed, sad, confused, anxious, intoxicated...scanning my old journals and reading my past angst...it seems most of the great writings of gemini girl have come out of despair *sigh*... I'm amazed at how the words just poured out when I was worried, frantic, and sexually frustrated.

like billie holiday...lady sings the blues...I guess

when I'm happy and fulfilled and content the words don't flow as much..nothing to complain about..or wonder or ponder.I tend to keep these feelings close to my heart...mostly I'm just busy expressing my love to the ones that make me smile the most.

concentrating on the important..life is good...i'm grateful

"loving you
makes my heart sing a song"

another memory...

another concert

another weekend together

another month in love

gemini tattoos

in love with the same man...

"hello did you mean to leave me at the hospital, you are the only one that left"

love explained...

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin. "Love is the beauty of the soul."

Do you believe in love??

we put on...

the "blind date" part was the only true part of "how did you guys meet"?

we have not told our family members we met online..why?

our story is a friend of a friend who works with a friend of a coworker hooked us up...and they are okay with that?? WOW...

why is it bad that we met and fell in love online? I don't hang out at clubs, I barely leave the 15 mile radius around my home and job so it was just natural I'd meet someone online since I spend most of my time on the computer.

We didn't meet thru a dating service..DAMN we didn't even met thru a mutual friend
WE innocently started chatted online, I asked him about places to hang downtown, he invited me out telling me he'd show me around, we were just gonna be friends. We both told ourselves that.
I got sick the weekend of..and nervous about dating someone that lived so close. I almost cancelled completely...
But I gathered my courage and we had a great first date...I knew right away I wanted to be more than just friends with the Champ.

I've never dated anyone in Atlanta in the 11 years I've lived here except for the man that I was married to and we never went out... so its been a treat to be involved with someone close who can show me around the city. He's like a handmade blanket to me, so comforting and warm and I really enjoy being in his presence.

Every single weekend since we've met have been ours..we've always been together...they've been filled with concerts (even whodini), movies (Vantage Point, sex in the city, Hulk, Ironman, 21, Wanted, Kung Fu Panda), basketball, kids, fireworks, tattoos, the Easter Bunny, his mom, my family, his sister, scrabble, restuarants..tons of FOOD and DRINKS!!!, even the modern dance (Alvin Ailey), lots of MUSIC, the pool, stonemountain hikes, well ONE stone mountain hike, x-rated scrabble, visits to the SEX TOY SHOP, a book reading, a shared birthday, and most importantly love..just love, love, love.

so why is it bad we met online?? why come we gotta put on for our family AND FRIENDS??